Caffe Caldesi, 118 Marylebone Lane, London, W1U 2QF

I thought this review was going to be easy. Turns out, the experience was a lesson in variables; the chef on the night, and cleanliness. 

Caffe Caldesi has a restaurant on the first floor which is fancier than the caffe/bar on the ground floor. To be honest it's not that much fancier and personally, I prefer the selection of food served in the caffe. I've enjoyed the food in the caffe so much that I find myself dining at Caffe Caldesi far more frequently than my bank balance would like. 

As I have on all other nights, tonight I ordered the bread selection to start, and linguine caldesi for my main. I don't have a 'go to' option for dessert, mainly because sticky toffee pudding is not on the menu...or hot chocolate fudge cake with ice cream (I thank you Little Chef for that obsession). 

Tonight we ordered the flour-less chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream and, the apple tart with cinnamon ice cream. But we'll come back to that later. 

Everything was going well; the bread tasted fresh, the linguine was al dente and the sauce it was mixed in was a beautiful combination of creamy tomato. But then, things dipped. My fiance, who alternates between ordering La Milanese or the chicken, discovered that tonight, the veal in La Milanese had one undercooked section. We told the waiter, he seemed concerned...barely. 

Then, we proceeded to sprinkle a healthy dose of cognitive dissonance over the entire meal; 'It's fine', 'we come here all the time and usually it's great', 'I love this place, you love this place right? Off course you do, we love this place',  'one time, just one time', 'it happens to everyone'. 

By the time we finished that fun game, dessert arrived and boy, was it good! The flour-less chocolate cake was moist and light and, though I could have done without the layer of jelly on top of the apple tart, it still tasted fresh and the cinnamon ice cream sat in a brandy basket was a nice touch. Did I mention that I have a soft spot for brandy baskets? 

Unfortunately, during the post dessert haze is where the aforementioned dip plummeted into the vault of irrevocable changes. Somewhere between licking the spoon and playing Word Mole I spotted, crawling up the wall next to me, something that was either a beetle that looked like a cockroach...or a cockroach. 
I should have taken a picture, but as I didn't I suppose I should say that; 'I saw what appeared to be a cockroach'. 

We informed the waiter and once again, he looked mildly concerned. Then we left receiving minimal apology - I would have been groveling at the feet of regular patrons. 

It will be a long time, and a Food Standards Agency food hygiene rating 5, before I will have the guts or desire to go back again.  

Price: £62.00 for one glass of wine, one cup of tea, one starter, two mains, one side, two desserts, and service charge

Veggie Friendly: 2.5/5

Food: 4/5

Service: 2.5/5

Atmosphere: 4/5 until the roach debacle, 0/5 after