Le Petit Auberge, 283 Upper Street, London, N1 2TZ

This is another restaurant that I've visited over the years. Last night, the experience was shared with a friend.

I have decided to give the people I dine with pseudonyms for the purpose of this blog (and complete boredom from typing 'my friend', 'my fiancé' or 'my cousin', repeatedly). Let's call the friend that I met for dinner last night, 'See food eat food'; I'm sure she'll love it. 

The ambience is the epitome of cute and cosy, especially when it's raining outside. I should really stop adding weather references as a marker for cosiness factor as it is always raining in the UK. Even when it's not raining, it's thinking about raining. Enough of speculating about how much it rains in the UK, let's get back to the ambience. 
Were it not for the predominance of groups and the new addition of plastic tablecloths that look deceivingly cloth like, Le Petit Auberge would veer sharply towards a romantic night only zone. 

Onto the staff, whom I always find to be very accommodating, polite and professional (in a relaxed way). Last night was no different. 

Vegetarian options are numerous in both starters and mains, albeit not all of them are totally French. That being said, a plethora of vegetarian dishes that hail from France might be akin to finding the Holy Grail...or, it is simply an oxymoron of sorts. In my opinion, so long as the taste of the food matches up to the price, then the cuisine does not always have to be 100% authentic. Vegetarian options followed a theme of world cuisine fusion, as did the music; and all the food was hearty. Last night, I had roast butternut squash, stuffed with ratatouille, served with rice and salad. 

See food eat food, ordered the lamb, medium rare; an order that she makes every time she frequents Le Petit Auberge because, and I quote; "I love the lamb here, drooooooooool!". OK, it's possible that she may not have actually said drool, but she did say the rest of the sentence while looking like she was trying not to drool.

Profiteroles were my dessert of choice; they were average. The chocolate sauce and choux pastry were perfect but the cream filling was an unexpected let down; strangely tart and a tad too stodgy. 

All in all, this experience was like all others; good company, good food, good wine, good time. 

Price: Approx. £49.00 for garlic bread, a carafe of red wine, 2 x main, 2 x sides, 1 x dessert and service charge

Veggie Friendly: 3.5/5

Food: 3.5/5

Service: 4/5

Atmosphere: 3.5/5 

Le Pain Quotidien, 1 South End Road, Hampstead Heath, London, NW3 2PT

I've been to Le Pain Quotidien a number of times before; Marylebone, NYC, the one near the Natural History Museum. It’s standard. Generally, you’ll get a decent meal at decent prices and the dessert should rock.

Usually, I order the Spinach and Ricotta puff pastry triangle which leaves me pretty satisfied. However, on this fine, rainy day I decided I wanted something lighter. It was also lunch time and I was having a quick bite with my cousin while she was on her lunch break. She ordered the beef and bacon broth (off the specials menu) which she described as ‘bland’. I ordered a tartine of ricotta, dried figs, roasted pine nuts and honey. It was served with chopped tomatoes and two slices of melon. It was also...disgusting.

This is probably merely a personal taste issue, and I can say, without doubt or reservation, that my personal tastes abhor this dish. The taste was reminiscent of cottage cheese and tropical fruit, which I have an equally strong dislike for. If you don’t mind that combination then you probably wouldn’t have cried over your lunch.

Due to the failed mains experience, I thought I deserved some pudding. Mmmm pudding.

My friend ordered the Chocolate Tart – I should have stolen it.

I ordered the Chocolate Bombe. How can you go wrong with that when it implies a chocolate explosion! Unfortunately for me (and the table next to me who had to listen to my incessant whining) it was indeed a chocolate explosion, but somewhere in the calamity, the flavour of chocolate had evacuated the dessert, leaving behind a heavy shell of what could have been.   

Price: Approximately £30.00 for 3 x cappuccino, 2 x mains, 2 x dessert and service charge

Veggie Friendly: 2.5/5

Food: 2.5/5 based on this experience, on my normal order it's probably 3/5

Service: 2.5/5

Atmosphere: 2.5/5

Ratings System

There has been a little uncertainty over the ratings so I thought I'd clear up what my numbers stand for. 

0/5: Absolute, rocking waste of time

1/5: Rubbish

2/5: Below average

3/5: Above average/Pretty darn tasty

4/5: Good/great

5/5: Amazing, heavenly awesomeness 

Thought I should just clear that up as I had a few over achievers thinking that 3/5 was still dire. Silly over achievers.  

The Mulberry Tree Coffee Shop, Heritage Centre, Roe Street, Macclesfield, SK11 6UT

Sticking with the quick lunch theme, I thought I'd try somewhere other than Coffee Traders for a change. 

The atmosphere bites. Not because of the crowd, but because the interior reminded me of my school canteen - yuck. 

Apart from that, it's a good find. The service is haphazard but very friendly - it's the North, what do you expect. The food is decent, especially the Goats Cheese and Ratatouille Tart (Christmas special). 

The Mulberry tree offers the usual Coffee Shop selection of sandwiches, jacket potatoes and solid, sturdy meals like burgers and chips, bangers and mash and roast chicken. 

I was mildly impressed to see that the Vegetarian options were just about enough; a couple in the Jackets section, a handful in the Sandwiches and a fair sprinkling in the Christmas Menu - can anyone say baked Brie and Cranberry?! Off course you can, so order it. 

My latte was surprisingly excellent quality; fresh and not at all bitter. Usually I need a touch of sugar in my coffee but this latte was more than fine without it. 

I'm not sure it will take me away from Coffee Traders, but The Mulberry Tree definitely put up a good fight. 

Price: Approximately £28.00 for 2 drinks, 4 mains and service charge. 

Veggie Friendly: 3/5 

Food: 3/5

Service: 3/5

Atmosphere: 2/5

Coffee Traders, 10 Chestergate, Macclesfield, SK11 6BA

This is a great place for a quick lunch. It was a place I loved at 16 and still love at 27. So much so, that whenever I visit Macclesfield I have to go there at least once.

I’ll be honest, vegetarian options are limited - a couple of vegetarian sandwiches, and jackets for your mains, virtually nothing savoury in the breakfast section.

However, the vegetarian mains are not just the standard jacket potato with cheese and beans which they do have. You also get some brie combinations and tropical fruit. It's faultless when it comes to good, solid taste and filling you up. I’ve never changed my order from the following: Cheddar cheese, red onion and caramelised carrot chutney toastie with wholemeal bread, a pot of tea, and if I’m in the mood for some indulgence, which is 8 times out of 10, then I’ll order a warm chocolate cake with ice cream.

This isn’t a place that will be make you feel incredibly special and some may feel that a menu that hasn’t changed in 16 years may tend towards dated, but if you ask any of the patrons, Coffee Traders hasn’t made any major alterations to their menu because everything has always, and will always sell well, because they taste good.  

One thing that has changed is that their homemade coleslaw is not automatically served with each main like it used to be. Ask for it, it’s worth it.

If you’re looking for a quaint lunch near the peaks, in a place that looks and feels like someone’s home, where everyone is Northern friendly, then weather their lunch time rush queues and at least have a cream tea at Coffee Traders.

Price: Approximately £24.00 for a pot of tea for 3, mains x 3 and service charge.

Veggie Friendly: 2/5

Food: 4/5

Service: 4/5

Atmosphere: 4/5 

Bincho EC1, 55 Exmouth Market, Clerkenwell, London, EC1R 4QL

Bincho, oh Bincho. You had so much potential. But then you, like others before you, became a prime example of a place that promises much, and delivers little.

It was fairly empty when we dined, but the place looked fine...trendy enough to be in Exmouth Market, not so trendy that my cardigan/thermal combination looked particularly out of place on a Saturday night.  

I was with a group of people that were lovely, but I didn’t know them all that well (or...at all), so the price that I give you is based on what I had alone. I am not going to go foraging for the bill amongst strangers, it just looks creepy...or pedantic - probably an exotic mix of both.

We started with Edamame beans and a bottle of Riesling – hoorah! That was my first, and final, food related hoorah of the night.

As a vegetarian I sometimes find Japanese food challenging. The taste is good, but the choices are always limited; Bincho did not stick to these rules. The choices were adequate in that I had a choice, despite the angle they take being skewered food. The taste was...put your card back in your purse, walk to the tube and take it home via Tesco Express, worthy.

I ordered Shitake (Skewered shitake mushrooms), Yasai Yeki Meshi (spicy vegetable fried rice), pan fried tofu with Kimchi and Ginnan (skewered Ginko Nuts).

The Ginnan was my feeble attempt at being adventurous. A very pathetic attempt indeed, especially when compared to the chicken skin and chicken hearts being devoured around me. That is, until, Ginnan comes out. It looks like little balls of yellow marzipan, has the texture of peas longing to be mushed and tasted of nothing while simultaneously activating your gag reflex.

Everything else I ordered was standard. The rice had a ‘can you taste the spice, seriously can you, because we may have forgotten to use any’ effect and the texture felt a little overdone, but it was edible. The same can be said of the tofu. The natural juice from the grilled mushrooms had run off to greener pastures, leaving behind a dehydrated shell of fungi - nevertheless, still fit for human consumption.

It is the kind of experience that leaves you feeling alone on a table full of people. Happy, contented faces stare back at you, as they rub their bellies and flick their eyes towards heaven in thanks. You are too embarrassed to admit that your meal just was not worth the money. So, as your stomach screams expletives at your failed attempt to satiate its needs, you tighten your lips, raise your eyebrows and say ‘hmmm, yes, it was nice’.  

The dessert of baked chocolate with hazelnut ice cream and soymilk donuts with green tea and vanilla ice cream left me feeling better. They were well made, but I was still so hungry and unsatisfied due to my mains that I ended the night with another order of Edamame beans...and then put my card back in my purse, got on the tube and went home via Tesco Express.

Price: Approximately £65.00 for one bottle of Reisling, Edamame x 2, Shitake, Yasai Yeki Meshi, Pan fried Tofu, Ginnan, dessert x 2, and service charge

Veggie Friendly: 3/5

Food: 2/5

Service: 4/5

Atmosphere: 3/5 

The Beehive, 126 Crawford Street, London, W1U 6BF

I'm day after surgery loopy but I am pretty keen to write this review before I forget the order in which things happened.

I was excited about lunch at The Beehive, mainly because, for the past week, I've had a big hankering for some posh pub food, and I knew that if I didn't satiate the need before Monday I was going to have to wait for a couple of weeks. 

The fates had other ideas...

My fiance and I entered and the atmosphere seemed OK albeit noisy. The place is small and something about the acoustics makes everyones voices bounce off the walls, especially today as it was full - a promising sign. 

So, onto lunch. 

My fiance ordered the steak sandwich and chips. He had been to The Beehive before and loved this dish. Instead of rocking the boat, and working on limited time, he chose it again. 

Veggie options are present if not plenty, but I was not in the mood for pasta, so I ordered a starter of grilled halloumi bruschetta to come as a main with a side of chips. We both chose a warming (and awakening) cup of coffee to drink. 

The coffee here is good, strong but not bitter. 

I would really love to tell you what the food was like, but sadly I cannot. Let me explain. 

We happily chatted while sipping on our coffee. Then we waited...and waited for our food to arrive. Thirty minutes later we asked our waiter where our food was. He simply smiled and shrugged. We waited another fifteen minutes for an answer. A total of forty-five minutes later, out of hunger, a need to stick to our schedule (I was going in for day surgery the following day and I had a list of things I needed to buy...that, I probably should have bought before) and lack of any information or reaction from the two staff working that day, we decided to cancel our food order and leave. 

I'm not great with confrontation so my fiance went up to the bar to do the deed, while I supported him...silently, from our table. 

This is what happened: My fiance spoke to the other member of staff on duty and asked again how long our food would take. He disappeared, and after another ten minutes of guy number 2 being M.I.A he asked our original waiter what the delay was and could we now just cancel the order. Our waiter, previously adequately versed in the English language appeared to lose some ability in the understanding department and then proceeded to serve people who came up to the bar after my fiance. Apparently, he can take your order, he just can't take your complaints. But he can inform you somewhere in his 'confusion' that there is only one chef...ok, fine - so then tell us how long our wait is for what is essentially a sandwich!

Exasperated, my fiance returned to the table. Previously afraid of confronting the situation, I lost my rag and went up to the bar. At which point, twenty minutes after we started the complaints process, our food arrived. 

I was done. Done with the lack of instruction, the lack of aid and the lack of customer service. Guy number two came over to talk to us, his excuse again, there was only one chef and 'it's not like we said, oh we'll make those guys wait'. I told him that I understand it's busy and if they are truly understaffed then they should have told us this was case, either when we sat down, or when we enquired as to how long our food would be. I told him that I wanted to leave and that we were fully prepared to pay for the coffee. He pointed out that our food had now arrived. I told him that the food has now arrived, an hour after the order was made, and frankly, twenty minutes after we told him that we wished to cancel our order.

He then said you don't have to pay for food or drinks and that he apologised but they were very busy. I remained willing to pay for our coffees and my fiance asked him how much the coffees would be to which he replied 'I don't need your money cause I ruined your Sunday right?'. It wasn't a question, and it reeked of a disdain and sarcasm that is not acceptable given the situation. In fact, given any situation. 

It was glaringly obvious that because we had been polite at the 30 minute mark, and again at the 45 minute mark that they assumed they could make our food while stalling and expect us not to notice that people who came in afterwards received their food within twenty minutes while our 'sandwiches' apparently took far longer. Why not simply cancel the order instead of making the food in that interim? Why not simply just tell us when we asked how long we would have to wait? Why be rude as we left? 

Thankfully, despite the huge delay on food, Canteen and extended Christmas shopping hours, the day was saved. 

Price: It would have been approximately £28.00 for two americanos, one starter, one main, two sides and service charge. 

Veggie Friendly: 2.5/5

Food: I have no idea, but from his last visit my fiance gave the steak sandwich a 4/5

Service: 0/5

Atmosphere: 2/5 

Caffe Caldesi, 118 Marylebone Lane, London, W1U 2QF

I thought this review was going to be easy. Turns out, the experience was a lesson in variables; the chef on the night, and cleanliness. 

Caffe Caldesi has a restaurant on the first floor which is fancier than the caffe/bar on the ground floor. To be honest it's not that much fancier and personally, I prefer the selection of food served in the caffe. I've enjoyed the food in the caffe so much that I find myself dining at Caffe Caldesi far more frequently than my bank balance would like. 

As I have on all other nights, tonight I ordered the bread selection to start, and linguine caldesi for my main. I don't have a 'go to' option for dessert, mainly because sticky toffee pudding is not on the menu...or hot chocolate fudge cake with ice cream (I thank you Little Chef for that obsession). 

Tonight we ordered the flour-less chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream and, the apple tart with cinnamon ice cream. But we'll come back to that later. 

Everything was going well; the bread tasted fresh, the linguine was al dente and the sauce it was mixed in was a beautiful combination of creamy tomato. But then, things dipped. My fiance, who alternates between ordering La Milanese or the chicken, discovered that tonight, the veal in La Milanese had one undercooked section. We told the waiter, he seemed concerned...barely. 

Then, we proceeded to sprinkle a healthy dose of cognitive dissonance over the entire meal; 'It's fine', 'we come here all the time and usually it's great', 'I love this place, you love this place right? Off course you do, we love this place',  'one time, just one time', 'it happens to everyone'. 

By the time we finished that fun game, dessert arrived and boy, was it good! The flour-less chocolate cake was moist and light and, though I could have done without the layer of jelly on top of the apple tart, it still tasted fresh and the cinnamon ice cream sat in a brandy basket was a nice touch. Did I mention that I have a soft spot for brandy baskets? 

Unfortunately, during the post dessert haze is where the aforementioned dip plummeted into the vault of irrevocable changes. Somewhere between licking the spoon and playing Word Mole I spotted, crawling up the wall next to me, something that was either a beetle that looked like a cockroach...or a cockroach. 
I should have taken a picture, but as I didn't I suppose I should say that; 'I saw what appeared to be a cockroach'. 

We informed the waiter and once again, he looked mildly concerned. Then we left receiving minimal apology - I would have been groveling at the feet of regular patrons. 

It will be a long time, and a Food Standards Agency food hygiene rating 5, before I will have the guts or desire to go back again.  

Price: £62.00 for one glass of wine, one cup of tea, one starter, two mains, one side, two desserts, and service charge

Veggie Friendly: 2.5/5

Food: 4/5

Service: 2.5/5

Atmosphere: 4/5 until the roach debacle, 0/5 after

Greens Restaurant, 43 Lapwing Lane, West Didsbury, Manchester, M20 2NT

LOVE IT! Review done.

Because I like to babble, here’s the rest:

I look forward to heading up North, not just for friends and family, but for Greens. Yes, the italics are necessary.

The atmosphere is cosy and ‘chatty’, the lighting is just the right amount of dim (yes, I’m Goldilights) and the decor is faultless, chic and mildly quirky is what they do, and that’s how I want my living room to look.

Service on average is solid, sometimes phenomenal as it was last night for dinner, never poor. It’s never even slightly average, always good. Hence, overuse of the word solid again.

It’s a vegetarian restaurant so vegan and veggie options are plenty. My family, friends and fiancé are all T-rexes to varying degrees and they all adore Greens almost as much as me so, as places for all dinosaurs, it’s definitely one to go to. The guys at Greens also do a restaurant that is not solely vegetarian. Next time I visit, I might sacrifice my craving for Greens at the altar of writing reviews, and try out their other place.

Onto the food. Oh, the food. Give me a second while I close my eyes and pretend I’m there again. Hmmm...two more minutes...and, I’m back in the room.

Again, I love it. Last night was one of the nights where they offer a set menu. They do those three nights a week but I forget which other days. I can confirm that they definitely do the set menu on Tuesday nights. They also do lunch time set menus that work out even cheaper for a great selection and a good quality meal.

All my favourites were on the set menu, and the same was true for my parents so we were spending less, eating well and very cheerful about it.

I’ll start with my parents as they were going full Hindu yesterday – all about the no egg – and the staff very kindly subbed in a few eggless options onto the set menu.

Both my parents ordered the soup of the day which was cauliflower and tarragon – sounds ambitious, tasted successfully delightful. Followed by, Thai green curry with rice and fruit crumble with cream for dessert. Two words that describe both: doubly delectable.

I ordered the onion frittata and tomato chutney to start (yum), followed by Cheshire cheese sausages with bubble and squeak mash, beer gravy and tomato chutney (infinity yum) and the chocolate and ginger pudding with chocolate sauce (double yum).

Everything at Greens looks homely, appetizing and doesn’t disappoint because it is fresh and scrumptious. I recommend that you go there, and have an evening of mouth-watering excess with lovely food...especially, on set menu days.

What I don’t recommend, during this economic climate, is watching Duck Soup. Though it was filmed years ago, I’m almost certain that it hits close to the mark on how, and who we have trusted to sorting out the Eurozone crisis. After all, we do need to take up the taxes, before we can take up the carpet.

Price: Approx. £65.00 for soft drinks x 3, three course meals on the set menu x 3 and service charge.

Veggie Friendly: 5/5

Food: 5/5

Service: 4/5

Atmosphere: 5/5

Mildreds Vegetarian Restaurant, 45 Lexington Street, London, W1F 9AN

After my disappointing experience at Vanilla Black, I wanted to try another of the capital's vegetarian restaurants.

Thankfully, the experience was better.

The atmosphere was much more my scene; relaxed, comfortable, very smart casual – sort of how I like to dress.

They don’t take bookings so you have to queue. I do not understand why restaurants do this, other than to make the restaurant seem uber cool: 'See just how cool we are, there's a queue out of the door...and it's freezing outside'. Irrelevant of coolness factor, I’d really rather just book. Especially because, for eight months of the year (OK, OK, ten months) the weather in England is perpetually drizzling. 

The service was good. All the staff were pleasant, it was nothing over and beyond the call of duty, but in my opinion it doesn't always have to be.

Onto the food. One word - solid. Nothing mind blowing, but well presented and very edible. 

I started with pumpkin and ricotta ravioli in mushroom and white wine sauce. My fiancé ordered the gyoza dumplings with plum sauce. Off to a good start. 

I’m a little fussy about pumpkin ravioli. I’ve had too many where it’s too sweet, and very few that get it right by retaining the flavour of the pumpkin while taking the edge off the sweetness. Mildreds got it right and, the sauce was delicate and complimented the ravioli nicely.

I can say the same of the gyoza – solid, well made and, the plum sauce complimented the flavours in the gyoza well.

The specials board had me hooked for my main; nut roast with root vegetables and cider sauce. My fiancé ordered the Sri Lankan sweet potato and cashew nut curry with basmati rice with peas and tomato sambal.

The nut roast was ok. Some good flavours, but all in all, it was a little on the intense side. Not quite pulling a Vanilla Black in regards to mains, but verging on too many flavours cancelling out each other through sensory overload. 

The Sri Lankan curry was delicious, albeit not Sri Lankan at all - trust me, my heritage hails from that island. 

Pudding was sticky toffee pudding - yum, yum yum. No issues. None at all. I love sticky toffee pudding. If it's on the menu I'll order it and, I'll love it. If I don't love it, then don't bother going to the restaurant. 

The other dessert that we ordered was a vegan banana and coconut, tofu cheesecake. I have to be honest, at first I was a little bit disgusted. My mind was waiting for the hit of cheese...being a cheesecake and all. Once I'd gotten over my own prejudice (a feat unto itself) I began to appreciate just how well made it was. The flavours were delicate and the texture remained true of what you would expect from an average cheesecake. I'd even go as far to say, that despite being a cheese fiend, I would order this again if I wanted a lighter option...and sticky toffee pudding was not on the menu. 

I think it's safe to say that I will be going to Mildreds again. A whole menu made for me (and a good sprinkling of vegan options). Last but not least, the wine was tasty and veg - see, a solid experience. 

Price: Approx. £61.00 for 2 glasses of house red, 3 courses x 2, donation to something relating charity and Deutsche Bank (!!!) and, service charge.
Veggie Friendly: 5/5
Food: 3.5/5
Service: 3/5
Atmosphere: 4/5

Vanilla Black, 17 - 18 Tooks Court, London, EC4A 1LB

The Emperor has no clothes...and he’s vegetarian.

What I’m ineffectively trying to say is: this place is not worth the money.

The staff, though polite, are a little...not quite there.

The food, though vegetarian, is completely...bland and bonkers.

The atmosphere, though chicly decorated, is ...devoid of personality.

A vegetarian restaurant should be the Veggiesaurus’ idea of heaven. But, when you put some bland, yet strangely alcoholic sorbet next to a scoop of white chocolate mush, and then balance that mush on a cornflake cake and have the audacity to call it a tart; while simultaneously globbing little green blobs of aniseed madness around for decorative purposes, its hell...hell on a plate.

I’m skipping ahead here. Let’s go back to the amuse bouche.

Soured apple jelly, with yogurt, presented in a little shot glass – faultless. Great texture, great presentation, great taste...big promises. Sadly, still awaiting delivery.

Starter for me was beetroot with curd and whey and baked porridge oats...it already sounds mad, it was.

Starter for my friend was brie ice cream and Victoria plum chutney with caraway seed cornets and toasted hazelnut...brie ice cream?! In fairness, the brie ice cream was passable.

Both starters sounded very appetising if not a little busy. In fact, I was concerned that both dishes would be a crowded taste parade. How wrong I was, for in both dishes, seasoning and flavour were elusive little beasts.

Mains, for me, was Goats Cheese and Toasted Cauliflower Mille Feuille with golden Raisin and Cashew Nut Potato and Tamarind Paste while my friend ordered, Salted and Ash baked celeriac and nutmeg yoghurt curd with chestnut puree and brussel sprouts. While the starter was lacking in flavour, both mains were bursting with too many, uncomplimentary flavours. Maybe, this is the trick – underwhelm us with flavour to start, overwhelm us with flavour after. By the law of averages, you should walk away satisfied. You don’t. 

Dessert...surely dessert will pull it around. Off course, you know already that it didn’t. Apart from the globs of hell on a plate, we ordered peanut butter cheesecake and cracked cocoa beans with banana and thyme bread and toffee sauce. So, this is a ‘deconstructed’ cheesecake. Frankly, I don’t care if it’s deconstructed or piled into the shape of a Mayan Pyramid (though, that would be cool), just so long as it tastes good. Again, too much going on and nothing that went with each other. For example, the banana and thyme bread was fabulous; the texture was spongy and moist, lying in that happy middle, between cake and bread, but, did it go with the peanut butter? No. The toffee sauce? Still, no. The cracked cocoa beans? How about...no.  

The presentation of each dish was beautiful - great colours, precise decorations and decent portions. Perhaps, I’m being harsh but I can’t help but think that, maybe if they kept things simple, they’d stop shooting left of right and, just, get it right. 

Price: Approx. £91.00 for a bottle of white, 2 x 3 course dinners and service charge

Veggie Friendly: 5/5

Food: 2/5

Service: 2.5/5

Atmosphere: 2.5/5 (the acoustics of Vanilla Black make the venue a veritable playground of bouncing sounds)