Amico Bio, 44 Cloth Fair, London, EC1A 7JQ

Amico Bio is on a very cute street, serves delicious wine (get the one with squirrel on the label and persistent cherries ), is all dark wood on the inside and the restaurant is vegetarian and organic. 

It all sounds perfect, doesn't it? It's not. 

The only other persisting factor, bar the cherries, was the distinct feeling that each dish missed the mark, somehow. 

My tofu, orange and fennel salad starter was heavy on tofu and light on taste, the risotto balls were a poor man's Arancini and the Kiwi Tart/Pie was in need of help. 

OK, I'm verging on too harsh so I'll reign myself in. The spinach and ricotta cannelloni was decent, not life changing...but definitely edible. Yeah, I realise, I still sound harsh but it's difficult to be positive when things 'persistently' did not quite fit. 

I even asked Fiancé and Marmot for their opinions...sure, they mumbled something but the lack of any real conviction behind what they were saying/mumbling lead me to believe that they felt the way I did. 

Price: Approximately £82.00 for 1 x bottle of red wine, 3 x glass of prosecco, 3 x 3 course meal and service charge. All on the top table offer

Veggie Friendly: 5/5

Food: 2/5

Service: 3/5

Atmosphere: 4/5

Thai Pot, 1 Bedfordbury, Covent Garden, London, WC2N 4BP

Having nothing to say is really much worse than having too much to say. It's not great for me and it definitely does not bode well for the restaurant. 

Now, where should I start...the restaurant looks...alright. The food tastes...alright: Veg options are tofu-centric and despite ordering two different options (one chilli, one ginger) they tasted the same. 

The service, however, was good due to our rather smiley, smiley waiter. 

All in all, the experience was...alright.

Price: £74.64 for 3 x soft drinks, 1 x veg sharing platter, 1 x starter, 3 x mains, 1 x side, 3 x rice and service charge.

Veggie Friendly: 3/5

Food: 2.5/5

Service: 4/5

Atmosphere: 2.5/5 

Bank, 4 Brindley Place, Birmingham, B1 2JB

I almost didn't write this review as I had nothing to say. OK, that's a blatant lie. I had too much to say...which resulted in me not knowing where to start...which led to a bottleneck of thoughts...

I think the best way to tackle this is to go section by section.

Vegetarian Options...I'm sorry, where? You can pick a few sides, a couple of starters and a couple of mains which is pathetic considering the menu is huge.

Decor/Atmosphere...I'm sorry, what? Big and stark with bananas paintings on the wall...not paintings of bananas as that would have been more interesting and probably nicer to looker at than the badly painted figures that looked like their muscles were on the outside.

Price...I'm sorry, why are you robbing me? Far too expensive for a restaurant that feels like Pizza Express on the inside.

Food...I'm sorry, can I have more water...I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to have it from the tap? The food is too salty...so it tastes decent, masks flavour and dries you out all at the same time...but, the pudding is excellent. 

Would I return...I'm sorry, can I go now?

Price: Approx. 205.00 GBP (Why does the American Mac not have a pound sign?!) for 3 x bottled waters, 4 x soft drinks, 2 x starter sharing plates, 6 mains and 3 x desserts. 

Veggie Friendly: 2/5

Food: 2.5/5

Service: 5/5

Atmosphere: 2/5

The Providores and Tapa Room, 109 Marylebone High Street, London, W1U 4RX

This review is for the dining room upstairs, not the tapas room downstairs.

Let's begin:

Good food, excessive price tag.

For dinner you pick between 2 - 5 courses and the price is set. It sounds fine so far, doesn't it?

2 courses = £33.00

3 courses = £47.00

4 courses = £57.00

5 courses = I can't remember, my eyes blurred to protect me from fully understanding the hit my purse was about to take.

We'll come back to the prices in just a mere moment. The dining room is nice, not amazing, but decked out nicely...nicely is such an insipid word.

The food was nice...there's that word again...

The Providores seems to add things to the food that are neither here nor there: The sweet potato dumplings were perfect, but the chocolate fondant, for example, already had a different touch by adding chestnut butter to the gooey centre in the middle...why add coconut sambal on top? It neither adds to, nor detracts from the flavour...and it doesn't even add an aesthetic advantage. That being said, minus the addition of the unnecessary, the food provided is...good...I'm mean...nice... 

I'm trying to say that the Providores dining room is a good experience, but the feelings dissolved to nice as the price is just too high for what it is. Especially, once you have factored in the 'starter' size portions that are 'designed to allow you to try more food'...ok...great idea...why are you charging me over £10 per course for smaller portions though? My momma didn't raise no fool (well...). 

Price: Approx. £145.00 for one 1 x carafe of white wine, 1x 3 courses, 1 x 4 courses and service charge. 

Veggie Friendly: 3/5

Food: 4/5

Service: 5/5

Atmosphere: 3/5

The Red Pepper, 8 Formosa Street, London, Greater London, W9 1EE

I know that the approved model for constructive criticism is: start with a positive, then highlight the problem, then finish with a positive. The problem that I have with that model is two-fold: One, I didn't come up with it. Two, I like everything about The Red Pepper bar one small thing...and that small thing is the table.

You see the problem is, most of the tables are the same size. I suspect your asking, what's the problem with this? Well, if you'd just let me finish I'd tell you that the size in question is a two person table...even if there are four chairs around it. In any restaurant, four people on a two people table results in elbows at dawn, but there are certain restaurants that should avoid doing this. Basically cuisine that requires sharing, or any cuisine where the food is served on big plates...or as I like to call them colossoplates. 

Other than that, there is a good selection of pizzas which are all delicious. Just be aware that the black olives on the pizzas are not pitted...Small found this out the hard way. 

The rest of our party: Fiancé, Tallulah and myself were 110% satisfied...now I sound like I'm on The Apprentice. 

Desserts are so-so but for me, that's not all that relevant as I come here for the pizzas. 

On another note, the sister formerly known as Jiggly will now have the pseudonym of Pirate Mole...it's exactly like it sounds. 

Price: £104.00 for 1 x bottle of white wine, 1 x beer, 4 x pizzas, 2 x sides, 3 x dessert and service charge

Veggie Friendly: 3/5

Food: 4/5

Service: 5/5

Atmosphere: 3/5

The Quilon, 41 Buckingham Gate, Westminster, London, SW1E 6AF

I had written the most wonderful review for this restaurant. I also decided to delay posting it to keep...er...I'm not sure why. BIG MISTAKE. The body of the post somehow disappeared! That might be a great thing for the editors as it was one long review. It's a pain for me...as it was one long review!

Without trying to recreate it, let's just try again. Here goes...

I've had my beady eye on The Quilon for a while - South Indian food and a Michelin star - yes please!

However, they closed in January for refurbishment. It felt like a long wait, but they reopened again in March and I can say without hesitation that it was worth the wait. This just may be my favourite restaurant in London. 

The decor is simple yet striking: No gaudy decorations to transport you to a far and exotic world. They managed to create the perfect balance where the ambience matched the food. 

The staff are perfect...I would tell you all the reasons why but it would mean having to start a new blog titled: 101 Reasons Why I Love The Staff At The Quilon.

Onto the food...oh my...the food. One word: authentic. Two words: authentic and delicious.

You should know that their set menu is £24.00 per person, for 3 courses, including tea and coffee.

Fiancé and I had a sneaky peak at the dinner menu and the choices given on the set lunch menu are at least half of those on the dinner menu - not bad at all!

As a quick rundown of what you get for your money, this is what we ordered:

Pre-starter:

Pappadoms served with two chutneys and three pickles

Starter:

Crispy, spiced cauliflower

Mini Masala Dosa (waheeeee - just to clarify, this is the sound of joy).

Random in-betweener:

Rasam - for those of you that are South Indian or Sri-Lankan...or know someone who is, then you should know that the best way to have rasam is poured over your rice. If you don't know someone from the region or you feel uncomfortable pouring a sherry glass of rasam over your plate in a fancy restaurant then just drink it, it's still good that way. If you do know someone from the region, and you're perfectly comfortable pouring palate cleansers over your mains and you still don't try it...well then, ayo for you.

Main:

Paneer and soya curry

Mango curry (hells yeah!)

Plain rice

Tawa Paratha (bread prepared in ghee)

Dessert:

Baked Yogurt - Fiancé  took a liking to this in Chennai and was exceedingly pleased to report that The Quilon delivered on par with the rest.

Bibinca - layered pancake served with the ice cream. It was phenomenal!

Now, I know that you can get wonderful South Indian cuisine for a fraction of the price (*cough* Saravana Bhavan *cough*) but there is something to be said for paying a bit more for the experience...and that something is Bibinca.

The only issue I have with The Quilon is...I'm not there right now.

Price: £66.00 for 1 x beer, 1 x glass of white wine, two set lunches, and service charge

Veggie Friendly: 5/5

Food: 6/5 (I don't care)

Service: 5/5

Atmosphere: 5/5 

Bistro't Klein Genoegen, Sint Salvatorskoorstraat 3, 8000 Brugge, Belgium

For me, Bistro't Klein Genoegen has the perfect atmosphere.

The walls are painted almost black but it doesn't look ominous or gloomy, it looks chic. The wooden floors and the white of the ceiling and the table cloth provides enough brightness. The lighting is ample without shining too strongly onto my parting making it look sparse and bald (despite a decent head of heair).

The reason all of this appealed so much was that Bistro't Klein Genoegen created an atmosphere of intimacy, and made you feel special without leaving the venue with only a hint of light.

I counted at least four vegetarian mains, and two starters, which is enough.

I had breaded cheese to start (excellent and surprisingly, not heavy), and a quiche for my main...that's right, a quiche! Why do more restaurants not turn to quiche for their vegetarian option(s): it's delicous, filling, goes with the same sides as various preparations of meat...and once more for the skim readers: it's delicous.

Also, the quiche goes very well with the house Sauvignon Blanc, and Fiance would like you to know that the meat options were all that and a bucket of Belgium chips. 

Dessert was apple pie. Proper pieces of spiced apple on a substantial pie base with a nice dollop of excellent quality vanilla ice cream. Former fan of the French apple tart found at Mon Vieil Ami, Paris; Fiance quickly renamed this one as his favourite. If it hadn't been so damn delicious, I'd have branded him fickle and felt deeply concerned at his flitting affections.

Ok...I know I have to STOP with the overuse of alliteration...it's just that when I get going it becomes a hilarious challenge to see how long I can keep going for...but, I will try and stop...really...try...

Service was perfect: friendly, non-invasive, genuine, helpful...other relevant, positive words that you can think of.

If you're veggie, know a veggie or anyone else who is restricted when eating out then you must dine here at least once if you visit Brugge.

If you're not veggie, don't know a veggie or anyone else who is restricted when eating out, then why are you reaading this? Go and do something useful with your time.

Price: Approx. 87 EUR (around £72.00) for 1 x beer, 1 x glass of white wine, 2 x bottles of still water, 1 x starter, 2 x mains, 1 x dessert and service charge.

Veggie Friendly: 3.5/5

Food: 5/5

Service: 5/5

Atmosphere: 5/5

Chez Vincent, Saint - Salvatorkerhof 1, Brugge, Belgium

This may not be the best veggie burger in the world, but it put up an admirable fight with my current favourite (Fine Burger Co.) to come a close second.  

Usually, I'm not a fan of the mixed vegetable, breaded patty. To put it mildly, I find the taste to be...bonkers.

However, the Brugge, Belgium burger betrays it's breadcrumbed bretheren as burgers with bonkers flavours do not belong in Brugge, Belgium where the burgers are bonza.

Apologies for that...in short: there's one vegetarian burger option (and it's Belgium so the fries are excellent), and that option is damn fine.

Price: Approx. 14 EUR (around £12.00) for 2 x soft drinks, 2 x veggie burgers, 1 x large fries and service charge. 

Veggie Friendly: 2/5

Food: 4/5

Service: 2.5/5 only because it's order at the bar and the rest is self service

Atmosphere: 2.5/5

La Cochonnet, 1 Lauderdale Parade, Lauderdale Road, Maida Vale, London, W9 1LU

It is a testament to these pizzas that I was able to eat them. 

Earlier that day...

The Boy and Wimbledon arrive looking expectedly and impossibly radiant after a long trip. 

After hugs and hilarity we head to the Damien Hirst exhibit at the Tate Modern. How excited I am to be given the opportunity to be cultural...or at least pretend that I am. I even had my best 'ah, yes, but if you transcend the box, it's clear that the rigidity of the lines represent the constraints placed upon the biscuit base, by the cheese' face on. 

And then, everything that I so firmly believed...remained the same. However my upchuck reflex was tested, even more so than when I had a severe bout of food poisoning in 2000.

It was kind of like being in Lord of the Flies except; instead of the chaos of a plane full of boys crashed on a desert island...it was me lost in the Tate, instead of a pigs head on a stick covered in flies it was a severed cows head in a box with flies buzzing around it, and instead of that bat-shit-crazy kid who was head of the hunters it was a giant circular disc of dead flies that was going to metaphorically (and actually) nauseate me. So much so, that even the best chocolate in the world was unable to coax me out of the unnattractive stupor I had settled in to. 

I don't know enough about art to justify that rant, so lets quickly move back to what I do know: belly satisfaction and veggie friendliness.

Don't be afraid by the size of these pizzas; they are light and as Wimbledon put it; 'very easy to eat'. When it comes to taste - refer back to the first sentence in this post.

As for options for us Veggisaurs: there were plenty, and the setting is cute and rustic (I hate that word).

Sentence of advice: If it's even vaguely chilly outside and they give you a table by the glass in the conservatory then refuse and wait - Brrrrr. This is especially crucial as they serve their pizza on cold plates and, as The Boy pointed out, isn't a warm plate basic protocol? I wouldn't mess with him...he can identify a statue of Dwight Eisenhower before you can even see it. He's a litte bit like Chuck Norris in that way.

Price: Approx. £67.00 for 1 x coca cola, 1 x bottle of red, 4 x pizzas and service charge. 

Veggie Friendly: 4/5 

Food: 3.5/5

Service: 5/5

Atmosphere: 4/5

Chor Bizarre, 16 Albemarle Street, London, W1S 4HW

Do you like that ambiguous, grey area between Indian and Moroccan decor? You know what I mean?...That space of non-committal that Disney's Aladdin danced in...I don't literally mean danced...although, there is always a fair amount of merriment involved in most Disney films, apart from Up and Bambi - why would you upset me by starting a Disney movie with the truth?! 

Back to Aladdin: You know that feeling where you know you're in the middle east, but you can't shake that niggling itch that maybe, just maybe, you're in India? 

Well Chor Bizarre is kind of like that...but the other way round: you know you're meant to be transported into an Indian market but somehow, you can't shake the feeling that you're in a Moroccan Bazaar...bizarre. 

All of the above was not that clever, and far too protracted for what I'm trying to say. So, using my best Northern chavtastic accent, I will conclude this monologue by saying: 'It were well nice'. If you don't know what a Northern chavtastic accent sounds like, then you haven't lived. 

My entourage for luncheon (ooo-err) included and concluded, myself, Jiggly and Mother who was put off from ordering the usual Thali by its £24.00 price tag (ay caramba). 
As a result, we managed to spend a little over £40.00 on more than enough posh nosh: Pappadoms and chutneys, Paanch Mirchi Ka Paneer (paneer with five chillis), Dal Makhni (black lentils), Bindhi Do Pyaza (okra in tomato sauce), Raita (cucumber and yogurt), Saffron Rice and Basmati Rice. 

All dishes did both the country of origin and the host nation proud - for the slower readers: the food wasn't shipped in from India...and by slow, I don't mean your reading speed. 

However, despite tasting good...I still don't think they were a patch on Mother's home cooking, Good Mother's (my Aunt - the name is a direct translation...from a mysterious language) home cooking, See Food Eat Food's mum's home cooking, the food I recently ate at some of the places in Chennai and Saravana Bhavan. 

That being said, let me just reiterate one more time for the record: this place is good, and selections for all are varied and numerous. 

Price: Approx. £48.00 for 2 x soft drink, 3 x vegetarian curries, 1 x salad, 2 x rice and service charge.

Veggie Friendly: 4/5
Food: 4/5
Service: 5/5
Atmosphere: 4/5